Kiss
Puke
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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