Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
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I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
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Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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