It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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