What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
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Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
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You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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