there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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