That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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