jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
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I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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