you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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