So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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