I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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