just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
A+ Viking dick
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize