U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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