If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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