I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize