btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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