when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Farmville is her only friend.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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