so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
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