Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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