spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize