also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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