Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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