dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Congratulations! We have a period
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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