Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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