I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
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Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
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Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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