K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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