would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize