I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize