what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize