you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize