But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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