Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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