Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
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