The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize