Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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