If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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