Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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