Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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