the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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