2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize