FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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