im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
from now on my penis is your penis
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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