Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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