Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize