Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize