he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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