I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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