so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize