Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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