gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize