Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize