i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize